Corporate Culture - The Passion Murderer ??

I recently got promoted at work. According to my manager, I am one of the most useful resources in the group and have a bright future. My compensation increased. Probably I am earning way better than an "average" US worker with my level of work experience in the IT industry. I am also working extra hard for that. With the promotion came even more work, even more responsibility. And well, even less time for oneself.

I have come to realize that this is a vicious circle. Why did I choose computer science instead of getting into some lousy branch of study at IIT? Well, I liked it. I liked programming. It was interesting. Why did I work extra hard last year for this promotion? Well, because I liked it. It was interesting and challenging.

Gradually, I am feeling bad about programming. I think I would be happier if I can earn more money doing other less technical labor than programming. The point is, the corporate culture has made me dislike what was once a passion. And just to state this on the record, my current employer is much much better than the previous ones. But still...

Some introspection. People who are really involved in their jobs - how may of you really really like what you are doing? I mean, if I give you enough money that you do not have to work for money, would you still be doing what you are doing? Heck no. I would probably just hack into Linux kernel for free in that case. Or just make my home completely intelligent using self-developed AI devices. I would just play with several computer science topics and do some nice funny interesting stuff.

Then, why the hell am I working? Yup, you got it. Its the moolah factor, pal. Company did a strong IPO. Future looks good. Money is not bad either. Green card is on its way. But all this is making me go deeper into the vicious circle of ambitions and money race, and making me move out of the nice plain road of the passion called "programming for fun".

Who is to blame? The corporate culture that kills the passion and makes you an ambitious, cut-throat fighting bull of an arena match watched by other corporates and fellow players, all of whom are fighting for a bigger house, a better car, a nice vacation, and a planned retirement? Or, me, who probably lacks the courage to defy obvious paths and delve on my own? Or those who love me, who probably will not agree with such defiant steps because they could never do the same themselves?

Oh, well. Enough of random thoughts on a Sunday morning. Let me sleep. I have a project to complete in next 3 months and a bug to track in next 2 days ;-)